Least creative title so far FTW.
In recent days I have found myself sinking exponentially further each day into a dampening depression. Today it finally got to a point that it was noticeable to my co-workers. My overseer commented that it appeared that half my soul had been sucked out.
I don't really know the cause, nor the solution. So looks like I'm just gonna have to be a human raincloud for awhile.
Kind of a bummer for my writing. This blog is all about self-improvement, motivating myself to do the things I know I should. But lately it's been hard enough just to motivate myself to get out of bed in the morning or put on clothes, so anything more motivated and hard-core than that is a bit of a foolhardy dream.
So for now my self-improvement will consist of:
- Continuing to write every day, even if it's just to say "Fuck My Life. The End."
- Not finding excuses to avoid coming home and seeing my husband.
- Facing my life head on and accepting it instead of wishing it was something else.
- Not telling people about my problems and making the issue more tangled than it has to be.
- Attempting to forgive people without having to tell them all the reasons I'm upset with them.
Wish me luck!
LittleSpastic Out.
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Do you read Bukowski? If not, you should give him a try. He always gives me a hand.
ReplyDeleteDepression is so very, very two-sided, and neither side is quite socially acceptable to talk about. Of course the situation changes from person to person. In my experience people don't want to listen to me tell them I'm depressed, nor do they want to hear how I can be above it.
For me, it's a paradox of positive and negative with no clear visible answer.
Good luck.